


I Need Your Love Before I Fall

by yourlocaltranskid



Series: Wayhaught Character Studies [2]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, F/F, Fluff, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:33:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23061751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlocaltranskid/pseuds/yourlocaltranskid
Summary: No one told Nicole Haught love was easy. No one said loving an Earp was any easier.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught
Series: Wayhaught Character Studies [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771402
Comments: 3
Kudos: 115





	1. I need your love before I fall

**Author's Note:**

> "Give me your hand/ Save me save me/I need your love before/I fall, fall"- Save Me by BTS
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at wayhaughtprompts.

No one said love was easy. Absent parents and too many exes to count. Girls came and went, hearts were broken and tears shed. No one told Nicole Haught that loving was easy.

Falling in love with Waverly Earp was not hard. Love at first sight as some may say, honestly who wouldn’t be smitten by her. Everything about her was perfect, her smile to her laugh, and smart too.

The hardest pill to swallow was that Waverly was with Champ, a boy-man. Honestly, no one thought that they would last, not Wynonna, not Gus, not Waverly herself. 

Nicole is used to heartbreak, that’s what happens when you fall in love with a straight girl. Truth hurts, it hurts more than lungs burning when running for miles and miles. Truth hurts when you can’t get your best friend’s sister out of your mind.

Nicole never asked for this, she never asked to fall in love with her best friend’s sister. Truth be told she never thought she’ll find love in Purgatory, hell who names a town Purgatory anyways. 

Truly she should have realized that she was in love with Waverly when she walked into Shorty’s or when she walked into the Black Badge Office. Truly it should have hit her then, but who knows how love works. 

No one told her how hard it would be to hide her feelings or how hard it would be to stop her feelings for Waverly. Don’t fall in love they say, especially for a straight girl. Hearts would be broken and time will be wasted.

Watching her go in and out of the BBD office, smiling and giggling doesn’t help the feelings, honestly, it made them even stronger. Love is a funny thing if you think about it. Stolen glances and soft smiles were the only things that were ever able to be exchanged.

Days were long and nights were short, all she could do was think about the younger Earp. Wynonna mutters about how they were getting along and how Waverly should break up with Champ or that Champ has no brains nor personality.

Taking these words to heart, she replays them at home, when she’s cooking, playing with CJ, when she’s just in bed, not being able to sleep because of Waverly. If only she notices the tension between them, if only if she notices that Champ is no good for her.

*****  
Night shifts were always boring, paperwork about the local drunks or a lost cat needs to be found. Nothing could make them go faster or more fun, not even Wynonna drunk antics or Nedley’s stories about the town’s people.

Paperwork was always the most boring part of working for the force, work that needs to be done. Work that was so boring Nicole didn’t realize Waverly was standing in front of her desk.

“Hey” 

“Oh, hey”

“So Wynonna said you’re gonna be working late tonight, do you want me to bring you anything?” 

“I don’t want to be a brother”

“You’re never a brother Officer Haught, so what can I get you?”

Moments like these make her wish that Waverly was aware of the feelings. Aware of how much it hurts her to see Champ get to be with her.  
*****  
Nicole finally realized that love sucks and she will never find it in Purgatory, not in a million years. Wynonna had not one man but two. Waverly had her boy-man. Nicole was just stuck in her home with her cat.

Sleepless nights and countless scenarios run through Nicole’s head of how she could confess her feelings. Nights that she lay in bed and muttered to CJ about how pretty Waverly is or how smart she is or Champ doesn’t deserve her.

Before moving she promised herself she would take time for herself after separating from Shae, but when she laid eyes on Waverly the feelings came at full force. She honestly tried to stop them, wished and wished they would just pass. 

The feelings didn’t stop, only to get stronger as she and Waverly worked and worked more together. Wynonna decided that they would become best friends, leaving no choice to spend more time with both Earp girls. 

*****  
Honestly, she didn’t think they would get into a petty argument about their relationship. Neither of them was ready to face the unspoken tension between them, no said being gay in Purgatory was easy.

No one said loving an Earp was easier.

*****  
Staring at the mirror in the small bathroom, the lights are too bright and water drips down the sink. Feeling tired and sick, tired and sick of love. Tears shed down the sides of her face, no one said love was easy, especially when it involves an Earp.

Red eyes, redder than the hair on top of her head. Who knew that love would be this hard?

*****  
Days passed and no words were spoken between the pair. Wynonna thinks it’s because Champ and Waverly are going over a rough patch and are taking it on Nicole. If only that was the case.

No one asks how she was doing, everyone was too busy with the Black Badge cases to notice the foul mood she was in. This is for the best she tells herself. Best for her, best for Waverly, best for the feelings so they can be stopped. 

*****  
All she could do was to wish the feelings would stop. Waiting for the day when Waverly Earp stops invading her mind and heart.


	2. I want to wake up, I hate this dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want to breathe, I hate this night/ I want to wake up, I hate this dream"- Save Me by BTS

Who knew that loving someone was so hard. Absent parents gave little guidance, kicked out of home for, not being gay surprisedly, rather wanting to go into the Academy. Sleepless nights filled with thoughts of endless possibilities.

Possibilities of how to confess her feelings, possibilities of feeling loved again. The feeling of warmth and safety seems foreign since separating from Shae. Who knew that days would be like this, no one told her how to prepare for the feeling of loneliness.

Sitting at her desk waiting for Waverly to come by never helped the time pass by, neither did Wynonna talking about her when they were together. Nights drinking together helped fill the void, but not the loneliness.

Seeing Waverly with Champ at Shorty’s made her wish that she knew Waverly beforehand or that Waverly could just notice _her_ instead. Drunk Wynonna would go on and on about how smart Waverly is or how she has head cheerleader or that she was voted to be the “Nicest Girl in Purgatory”.

Sleepless nights and empty rooms didn’t make the time go any faster. Wishing and hoping that one day Waverly will notice the way she feels. Sometimes one can only wish.

*****  
Surprises come in different forms, sometimes they come in the form of a tired and hungover Wynonna

“You know Champ and Waverly broke up?” Wynonna mutters into her coffee mug.

A surprise but not the least shocking to her. Taking the moment to understand the words coming out of the other girl's mouth, nothing can prepare her for those words.

“Really?” 

“Yea, something about how he’s being an asshole recently.”

“Recently?”

“Waverly’s words not mine. Honestly, it was about time”

The time had finally come for the end of that era. Nothing can prepare her for those words, the feeling of happiness filled her heart and soul.

*****  
Monday nights at Shorty’s were almost empty, besides for the handful of regulars at the bar. A hard day of work had consumed almost waking moments for the force and downtime was well needed.

“Hey.” A soft smile and a glass pushed towards her.

“Thanks, long day.” A dimple appeared and a slight blush.

“Well then, this one is on the house”

“I can’t Waverly”

“Please?” pleading eyes that no one can resist.

“Fine, but only this one.” The drink was well needed after eight hours of paperwork and Wynonna.

“So”

“So?”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you the other week”

“It’s fine, we have our moments”

“It’s just been rough lately”

“I understand, trust me.”

“And I broke up with Champ.”

“I heard, I’m sorry Waverly” 

A lie. A lie to make sure Waverly doesn’t suspect the happiness that fills her soul.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. He’s kinda an asshole” 

“Kinda?” a chuckle came out.

“Maybe a big one” a soft giggle came.

This is what friendship feels like, feeling of trust and support.

*****  
No one told her that dreams of Waverly Earp would fill her nights. No one understands the countless nights, rolling in bed, or almost kicking CJ out of the bed. The dreams don’t stop, they get stronger and stronger.

Often the dreams are innocent in nature, dreams of date nights or them growing old together. But sometimes they become rather explicit in nature, making her wake up in the morning in sweat and needing to change out of her pajamas. 

Honestly, she can’t tell which type of dream is worse, the more she thinks about it the more they consume her life. The more time she spends thinking about Waverly the feelings get stronger and dreams get more frequent.

*****  
Love works in strange ways, no one could ever predict what will happen next or who will be the next. No one told her that love could feel this good, a glance here and there, a soft smile across the room can make a bad day go away.

*****  
Working weekend shifts were never fun, endless piles of paperwork about drunks or high schools trespassing onto private property filled the stacks on her desks.

“Haught Sauce, I heard you and Waverly are friends now.”

“I wouldn’t say we’re friends.”

“She made it sound like you two were best friends”

“She did?”

“Yea, kinda jealous that you’re replacing me with my baby sister.”

This is what it feels like to have friends that care.

*****  
Sleeping was never easy for her, not ever since she was a kid. Nightmares after nightmares ever since she was a kid, hiding those sleepless nights from her parents. Nightmares soon ended when she met Waverly Earp.

Sleepless nights filled with dreams of the other woman filled her nights ever since they met. Nights full of love and wonder what could be. Dreams of a happy ending that might happen if only Waverly knew.  
*****  
Sometimes she hopes and _dreams_ of becoming closer to Waverly, admiring the younger girl at Shorty’s or at the Black Badge Office. Nothing amuses her more knowing how smart and pretty and advantageous the other girl is.

This must be what falling in love feels like. Nothing could prepare her for this feeling.

*****

“When are you free?”

“Excuse me?”

“I said when are you free? I never got to buy you your coffee”

“Waverly, you don’t have too”

“But I want to”

“But”

“No buts, Officer”

“I should be free on Saturday morning if that's ok”

“Perfect its a date”

A date with Waverly was a dream came true. A dream only one can wish for in a million years. A dream that keeps on replaying in her mind during the shift.


	3. Don’t wanna be lonely just wanna be yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don’t wanna be lonely/Just wanna be yours/ Why is it so dark when you’re not here/It’s dangerous how wrecked I am" -Save Me By BTS

The week felt longer than any other week, sitting and waiting for that coffee date with Waverly made the week felt sluggish. The thought of being alone with the younger woman talking over breakfast caused butterflies in her stomach, making work harder to focus on than before.

As the day gets closer, the word _date_ echoes in her mind. Trying to rationalize the conversation with the other girl, rationalizing friends can go on coffee dates and it was nothing romantic. But that doesn’t stop the idea that the date was going to be romantic in nature and that Waverly felt the same way.

The daydreaming has to stop or that she’ll lose focus while at work, the dreams only get stronger and stronger each day. Wishing and hoping that one day she’ll have the guts to tell Waverly how she feels about her. 

****  
“I heard you’re getting coffee with my sister”

“Who told you that?”

“She did. Hasn’t shut up about you since the day you helped her get out of her top”

“Wynonna, it’s just coffee”

“She’s my sister”

“You’re my best friend”

“She means a lot to me”

“You know I will never hurt her”

“Champ did”

“I’m not Champ”

“You better not be”

“It’s not romantic”

“Okay, Haughtshot, whatever you say.”

“Wy”

“I just worry about both of you”

****

That conversation keeps playing in her head, the thought of Wynonna seeing right through her concerns her. Wondering who else knows about the feelings. Worried that Waverly knew about them.

Worried who else knows about the feelings, wondering if Doc or Dolls or even Nedley knows. Worried that the feeling of wanting to be closer to Waverly has been apparent since she first came to the small town.

Purgatory is not the most progressive or welcoming place to be gay. Rumors spread fast, local townspeople sitting in cafés and at Shorty’s gossip with each other. Rumors that can impact both of them and their friends.

Transitioning from big city life to the small rural town created a challenge, not only with dating but with the town's folks understanding the meaning of being gay. While the most challenging part was for the older citizens to understand the situation, however, the majority of the younger generation were indifferent to gay people.

****  
The day finally came to have coffee with Waverly, a day that she only dreams about. Sitting in the corner of the small café on Main Street nerves were at bay. Hoping and wishing that this could be something more than coffee and a simple chat with a friend.

Calling Waverly a friend was somewhat odd, but welcoming, to say the least. Having someone besides Wynonna as a friend was comforting to have.

****  
“Sorry I’m late, had to get Wynonna out of the house in time for her shift”

“No worries, I wasn’t waiting for long”

“Good. A cappuccino I’m assuming.”

“Waverly you don’t..”

“I want to and I own you”

“Waves”

“Nicole”

“Ok”

“Good, let me order for us than”

****  
Her smile was brighter than the sun. Feelings continue to form, nothing can stop them from forming either. As each day continues the feelings invade her mind, dreaming of what might be.

Only if she knew how Waverly felt about her, wishing that she felt the same way too. Days past since they got coffee together, replaying the day every second she can. No one told her that love was hard, no ever said that following in love with your friend could ever lead to a good thing.

****

“How was the date”

“Wynonna it wasn’t a date”

“You were nervous”

“It was just coffee”

“So a date”

“Wynonna”

“Haught”

“I don’t think your sister is even remotely interested in women”

“She might be”

“I don’t want to make assumptions”

“I know how she looks at you”

“How?”

“She admires you”

****

Wynonna words replays in her mind day and night, while she’s at work or home, she can’t get those words out of her head. The possibility of Waverly being interested in women and her, makes her heart flutter.

Only if she understood how love works. Only if she understood Waverly Earp.

****  
After getting coffee with Waverly, seeing her wasn’t getting easier. Honestly seeing her was harder now than ever before, seeing the younger girl smile and giggle across the office. Translating old scripts and helping Dolls with Black Badge made her realize how smart Waverly was.

There was just something about the younger girl that she was drawn to.

****

Stepping into the Black Badge Office after hours made it feel even stranger than before. Not being able to come into the office unless she got permission from Dolls to hand files in or to give Wynonna her doughnuts.

But tonight she had to stay late to help Lonnie with some files and she promised Nedley she’ll help him on the night shift before the next officer. It was strange that at this hour Waverly Earp would be in the Black Badge Office, let alone needing her help with something.

****

“Something wrong?”

“No, I was just lonely”

“ _Oh_ , I see.”

“Nedley said you were staying late”

“Yea, I was helping Lonnie with some paperwork”

“You’re always working hard”

“Well it’s my job it keeps everyone safe you know”

“To protect and serve”

“Yea to protect. May I ask why you’re here so late”

“Trying to help finish up some translations. And I was missing you”

“Me?”

“Yea, there something about you”

****

No one ever told Nicole Haught that she would find anyone like Waverly Earp. Not in a million years that she would ever think she'd be friends with a girl like her. The universe works in funny ways, love works in even funnier ways.

Love has its ways.


	4. Listen to my heartbeat, it calls you whenever it wants to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Listen to my heartbeat, it calls you whenever it wants to/Because within this pitch black darkness, you are shining so brightly"- Save Me by BTS

Weeks have passed since getting coffee and the endless teasing from Wynonna hasn’t stopped, rather it got worse and worse. Whatever it’ll be soft glances from across the office or a slight touch the action would prompt a joke from Wynonna. 

Often making Waverly giggle or tease Wynonna back about her relationships with Dolls and Doc. Hearing Waverly being able to joke to her sister about the status of their relationship makes her beat faster. 

If you asked Nicole Haught what love feels like this would be it. 

*******  
The teasing doesn’t stop from Wynonna, but Waverly’s warmth makes it better. Seeing her be able to be happy and carefree once in her life makes all the bad go away. 

*******  
“Hey”

“What’s up”

“Are you free?”

“My shift ends in half an hour. Why?”

“You want to grab dinner?”

“Sure”

“Great I’ll stop by later than”

*******  
Something felt different, the feeling of being actually friends with something in the small town was welcoming. Wynonna was an okay friend, Doc was friendly and respectful enough to be friends with, and Dolls was just Dolls.

But nothing can prepare her for becoming friends with one of the nicest girls in Purgatory. Nothing in the world can help her understand how lucky she was to have Waverly in her life. If someone told her before moving to the small town that she’ll find people who accepted her and be as kind as Waverley, she’ll tell you that you’re lying.

*******  
Time moved too slowly for her liking, half an hour felt like half a day. Waiting and waiting for the time to pass was one of the worst things that could happen at the moment. Being able to get dinner with Waverly was truly something she could never actually have dreamed about.

If someone had told her that this would happen she would have thought she was daydreaming. Whoever thought that love would become easier, not her. 

*******  
“Hey”

“Hey sorry for the wait, I’m almost done with the report”

“Take your time Officer, I’ll wait”

*******  
Waiting has been something she’s been doing with Waverly this whole time. Waiting for her to understand the feelings for the younger girl, waiting to see if the feelings would go away, waiting to see if Waverly could ever feel the same way.

The drive to the diner was quiet and too short for her liking. The soft humming from Waverly to whatever song that was playing on the radio was smoothing. Something that she could never get out of her head.

No one told her that she needed to act like this to Waverly, but it didn’t stop her from opening the passenger door for her or opening the front door for her, following behind her to a small booth in the back.

Seeing Waverly blush and giggle made her feel warm inside. Seeing the brightness that radiates off of Waverly only makes her fall more in love.

*******  
The dinner was fine, not realizing how hungry she was after her shift, but it was hard not to notice Waverly watching her eat her dinner. A simple smile appeared on her face. 

Wishing she’ll remember this moment of how Waverly looks like there is nothing else in the world that could brother her. Who would have thought she'd be this lucky to sit across Waverly and have dinner with her. 

*******  
“Haught, I heard you got dinner with baby girl”

“She asked me if I wanted dinner”

“It doesn’t matter who asked who.”

“It was just a friendly dinner”

“Keep telling yourself that”

“Wynonna”

“Haught”

“Please we’re just friends”

“Friends don’t look at each like you fools do”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Sure you don’t, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

*******  
Days passed since the conversation and she couldn’t get it out of her head. Maybe Waverly feels the same way. Maybe she’ll find out one day if she actually does.

*******

“Your sister is being weird again.”

“What did she do this time?”

“She asked me about that time we got dinner after work”

“I might have mentioned it to her”

“Oh”

*******

Nothing can prepare Nicole Haught for the experience she was having with Waverly, nothing. Not her previous relationships, not her parents, not even Shae could have prepared her for the relationship she has with Waverly.

Days are filled with wonder and questions about the other girl and how much Wynonna knows about the situation. It surprises her how much Waverly tells Wynonna about their time together, it still surprises her how supportive Wynonna is about this whole thing.

*******

The notion of being friends with the Earp girls was a strange enough experience since her time in Purgatory. It seems that Dolls and Doc only knew them for a short amount of time, almost as long as she knew them.

Nedley mutters about how different they were. Waverly was everyone’s favorite, sweet and smart. Wynonna was the trouble maker, always getting in trouble with the law no matter how hard Nedley tried to deter her from doing so.

Most of the townspeople would gossip about the Earps and about their cursed last name, worrying her not to get too involved with them if she can. It was strange that no one could give her any concrete information about them besides the rumors and gossip.

Taking to Gus about the girls was somewhat strange, only knowing the older woman for several months or so. Not wanting to get too noisy about their personal lives or not knowing of Gus’ view of gay people.

Not knowing has been a part of her life, not knowing if her parents will accept her, not knowing where she’ll be next, not knowing if Waverly Earp will ever feel the same about her.

Maybe one day she will know something.


	5. Thank you for letting me be me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thank you for letting me be me  
> When I think of you the sun comes out  
> So I gave my sadness to the dog  
> (Thank you. For being ‘us’)"
> 
> \- Save Me by BTS

Love is a funny concept. Never once in the past 27 years, Nicole Haught has actually understood what love was. Sure she loves Calamity Jane or her friends or even she had loved Shae during one point. But nothing could explain how she felt about Waverly Earp.

Her smile warmed her heart, just seeing the younger girl could make her day better. The feelings get stronger and stronger each day and the endless teasing from Wynonna doesn’t help. If only Waverly knew.

*****  
Working during everyone’s dinner break was quite calming, most of the time was spent finishing up paperwork or helping with lost pets claims. Sitting at the front desk rather than her own in the back of the office was refreshing, being able to interact with the townspeople instead of listening to Lonnie campaigning about the lighting.

Often the most of the time the issues that folks come in with are not high risk, not needing any careful attention from the officers. Yet, that message often does not come across to all citizens, making the tasks of paperwork even more challenging than it has to be.

Hearing the rapid footsteps coming down the hallway only adds to the stress of filling out another missing dog form within the past hour. However, those footsteps belong to the one and only Waverly Earp, thankfully this interaction forces the woman she was helping to leave.

*****  
Nothing in the world can prepare her for Waverly Earp pushing and kissing her in Nedley’s office and on his couch.

“What happens to friends?”

“You know what I always wanted?”

“What?”

“To parachute, to swim far in the ocean, to eat geoduck. To do things that scare me, and that’s you.”

“I scare you?”

“I don’t want to be friends, what I do the most in the world is you.”

The tension can be cut with a knife, nothing can prepare her to be face to face with the girl she loves. This feeling gives her the courage to kiss Waverly again and push her back on the couch. This must be how it feels to be loved.

*****  
“So I heard you and Waverly are pretty close”

“Who told you that?”

“She did and the bruises on her neck”

“ _Oh_ ”

“You know she finally found some courage because of you”

“Me?”

“Before she was always trying to mold herself to become someone everyone wanted her to be. You changed that”

“I did?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t help. She’s not scared to be herself now, she’s not afraid of love.”

*****  
The feeling of not being scared of love truly was a refreshing feeling, especially with Waverly. With Shae, it was always a sense of secrets and rushed feelings. Not with Waverly, the feeling of being able to be herself was something that was welcoming. 

*****  
Often at nights, Waverly would come over and cuddle with Calamity Jane, humming some random pop song as she finishes up research. If you told Nicole Haught that this would happen she would tell you you were lying. 

The day has come that they were both allowed to be themselves. The days of crying and questioning were gone, the only feeling between was friendship and something that may even be love.

*****  
“Wynonna is jealous of you”

“She is?”

“She said I stole you from her.”

“Oh really”

A small chuckle and peck on the lips make everything better, stopping the world and stealing breathes.

*****  
Days and weeks past and feelings of love get stronger, nothing can prepare her for the feeling of freedom at last. The feeling of being able to be herself was something that was needed for a long time.

Who knew she’ll find love in Purgatory, who knew she’ll find Waverly Earp.

*****  
Saying the words ‘I love you’ to each other took some time, calling each other ‘girlfriends’ took even longer. But the lack of words didn’t stop any of the feelings between growing stronger and more time being spent together.

They say love works in its own ways.

*****  
When the day finally came when Waverly referred to Nicole as her girlfriend and that she loved her, was the day everything stopped.

Well that and the impending threat of being shot by the eldest, and probably homophobic, Earp didn’t help the situation. 

But when that moment came, a smile could not stop from forming on her face, even with a gun pointed at her chest in the middle of the station. Who knew in situations like this she’ll hear Waverly say those words to her sisters and to her.

Who knows that Waverly Earp loves her and that they were girlfriends. You can say that love is funny.

*****  
Once everything is back to normal and Willa is gone, they can be normal together. Who knew that love could be like this, who knew that she has the courage to be loved and to love. 

*****  
The spring day was calm, nothing in the world can cause it to change. Leaning on the railing on the front porch, thoughts ran through her head and love pumped through her veins. The sight of Waverly sitting on the swing bench, smiling with the wind pushing back her hair was a sight to see.

*****  
If this is what people call love, then it must be the best feeling on the earth. Days were filled with support and laughter, some days were rough but the knowledge that they loved each other made it better. 

Nothing in the world can be better than loving Waverly Earp, nothing can stop her from living her life to the fullest. 

Nicole Haught finally found the true meaning of love, she finally found herself.


End file.
